22/09/2015
I remember my first trip to Venice because it was yesterday. I travelled to the beautiful and improbable wart in the Adriatic Sea, like most people do, to experience its holy sites, gorge on its seafood and wave at Chinese people in gondolas. Above all that, however, I was most looking forward to escaping the politics in the UK that
The Truth Bar is required to report on so fastidiously. Unfortunately, it followed me. News reached me in the lagoon of Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn and London mayoral hopeful Diane Abbott's bump 'n' grind in the 1970's. Aside from the logistics of such an act, I found myself most concerned with the possibility of a wider scheme, given that actual sexual desire most surely have played little part. Could there be a lovechild? A political anchor baby perhaps? No current political figure in the UK came to mind that fit the bill, Chuka Umunna is far too right wing to be the spawn of 'Corbott' and Ed Miliband not mixed race enough. I put the issue to the back of my mind and set out to learn something of the city of Venice.
I headed for the most revered space in the city; St Mark's square, which I found out to be named after time-travelling Bostonian Mark Wahlberg, who spent a whole year in Venice during the early stages of the 19th century. He charmed the locals with his heroic sexual exploits and general braggadocio so much that they named their most beautiful piazza after him. Wahlberg, like many romantics of his time, found much to like about the Serene Republic, of which he wrote this in his memoirs...
"Some of them are countess'", he admitted,
"and some of them are cobblers' wives, some noble, some middling, some low, and all whores...I've had them all and thrice as many to boot!"... Lad.
I take stock of my surroundings but my eyes are drawn to a wizened, greying figure outside the Doge's palace. It's Corbyn, attempting to disguise himself by having his shirt tucked in, taking pictures of Abbott, who cannot be seen in the aside image on account of Corbyn having to stand several metres back to accommodate her frame. "Take one more for Barack, I'm sure he'd love a postcard", I overhear her say...
My face whitened. A love child does exist. 44th President of the United States Barack Hussein Obama. It was clear now; Corbyn and Abbott have been scheming since the 1970's to seize power at a later date by holding the elected positions of Mayor of London, UK prime minister and President of the USA in order to establish a trifecta of Islamo-communism in the western hemisphere. Now you may think that the dates do not add up, given the respective ages of the parties involved, but as we know from the controversy surrounding Obama's birth certificate initially raised by deep thinker Donald Trump during Obama's '08 campaign, the President still has much to answer on this issue.
Obama, a union thug from Hawaii , has been doing Corbyn's bidding on the other side of the Atlantic, mainly crushing Christian florists, tearing up the constitution and ushering in the islamification of inner cities whilst his father ascends to power in the United Kingdom, spouting his vapid vanity along the way.
Plots of domination frequent the lower echelons of power regularly, luckily most fall foul of their own ambitiousness, and so it's hard to think how such an elaborate plan such as this could be implemented. However, the post 70's landscape was to change dramatically due to an invention that even Corbyn could not have envisaged would be such an effective weapon in his quest for world domination; The internet. The internet is an evil creation that has allowed stupid people to communicate with each other, providing an unregulated platform from which to espouse Corbyn'esque populism. Propaganda, an ancient cockney phrase meaning "don't take things on face value", can now permeate every corner of everyday life via people's tablets and smart phones. Ideas such as 'white guilt', 'micro-agressions and 'islamaphobia', all plants by Corbyn, have been able to take root and silence dissenters, this is all thanks to the internet. As the islamification of our precious institutions grows, there is little we can do other than raise awareness. In light of this,
The Truth Bar scientists have created Shariahometers (which can be purchased from our website) to help our readers detect no-go zones and avoid being stoned.
The Truth Bar, with some assistance from Abbott's notoriously big mouth, may have rumbled Corbyn in the nick of time. Our fate now ultimately lies in the hands of the British people to make the correct decision in 2020.
Charles Worrall
I remember my first trip to Venice because it was yesterday. I travelled to the beautiful and improbable wart in the Adriatic Sea, like most people do, to experience its holy sites, gorge on its seafood and wave at Chinese people in gondolas. Above all that, however, I was most looking forward to escaping the politics in the UK that The Truth Bar is required to report on so fastidiously. Unfortunately, it followed me. News reached me in the lagoon of Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn and London mayoral hopeful Diane Abbott's bump 'n' grind in the 1970's. Aside from the logistics of such an act, I found myself most concerned with the possibility of a wider scheme, given that actual sexual desire most surely have played little part. Could there be a lovechild? A political anchor baby perhaps? No current political figure in the UK came to mind that fit the bill, Chuka Umunna is far too right wing to be the spawn of 'Corbott' and Ed Miliband not mixed race enough. I put the issue to the back of my mind and set out to learn something of the city of Venice.
