22/9/15
Growing fears surrounding the concept of ‘Climate Change’ had previously led to news outlets irrationally blaming the innocent use of fossil fuels. Until recently, the struggling automotive industry had been buckling under the weight of slanderous attacks, lauding that the use of their products is leading us towards a global catastrophe’.
Despite this, shocking new evidence has come to light, provided by reliable sources at the IMI (The Institute of the Motor Industry) proving that it is in fact one of the world’s most toxic substances that is leading to our buoyant temperatures here in the UK – women’s opinions.
After an extensive one month study, scientists have discovered conclusively that weather maintains and stabilises far better in nations where women are forbidden from vocalising their damaging thoughts. Afghanistan, Iraq and Sudan have now been labelled as climate ‘Safe Zones’ and will harbour those seeking asylum from the thunderous encroachment of hazardous lady-talk.
Specialists in the field have discovered strong correlations between women’s opinions and the beginnings of natural disasters, even as far back as 2004’s Indian Ocean Tsunami which is now believed to have been caused by a local Thai woman. Minutes prior to the wave crashing on to Thai shores, Ming Pak was heard saying “I think we’re in danger”, lending more credence to this new evidence.
Women marched on Westminster today in order to rebuke the claims made by the IMI but the rally had to be called off due to extreme weather conditions.
Sam Barron
Growing fears surrounding the concept of ‘Climate Change’ had previously led to news outlets irrationally blaming the innocent use of fossil fuels. Until recently, the struggling automotive industry had been buckling under the weight of slanderous attacks, lauding that the use of their products is leading us towards a global catastrophe’.
Despite this, shocking new evidence has come to light, provided by reliable sources at the IMI (The Institute of the Motor Industry) proving that it is in fact one of the world’s most toxic substances that is leading to our buoyant temperatures here in the UK – women’s opinions.
After an extensive one month study, scientists have discovered conclusively that weather maintains and stabilises far better in nations where women are forbidden from vocalising their damaging thoughts. Afghanistan, Iraq and Sudan have now been labelled as climate ‘Safe Zones’ and will harbour those seeking asylum from the thunderous encroachment of hazardous lady-talk.
Specialists in the field have discovered strong correlations between women’s opinions and the beginnings of natural disasters, even as far back as 2004’s Indian Ocean Tsunami which is now believed to have been caused by a local Thai woman. Minutes prior to the wave crashing on to Thai shores, Ming Pak was heard saying “I think we’re in danger”, lending more credence to this new evidence.
Women marched on Westminster today in order to rebuke the claims made by the IMI but the rally had to be called off due to extreme weather conditions.
Sam Barron
