Robin Williams death now in Doubt-mire....

07/09/2015

Is Robin Williams actually an African sleeper agent?


Robin Williams was a national icon, beloved for his rampant cocaine abuse and prolific wish granting, Williams had become popular between brass rubbers and drug dealers everywhere.  But new information has led us here at The Truth Bar to believe that Williams may never had made it to Never-Never-Land.
Williams, or the "Bicentennial Man" to his friends, had experienced emotional turmoil due to many challenging life experiences such as his deployment in the Vietnam war, but even fighting those vicious  and determined commie Asians pales in significance to his spell spent in solitary confinement in the warring nation of Agrabah, where he was sexually enslaved by an Arabic peasant.   These long years of torture led to a brief period of gender fluidity (further cementing The Truth Bars position on gender fluidity being inversely correlated with sanity) where Williams identified as a cis-gendered Scottish nanny. 

Trans-gender Williams

US government agencies feared Williams had been brainwashed by Arab insurgent group 'JAFAR', using his new found gender orientation as a ruse, after his failed attempt to poison British Secret Service agent, Piers Brosnan.  Fearing being exposed, Williams abandoned his convincing alias, Mrs Doubtfire, before sufficient evidence was collected, but Williams continued to meet with controversial figures.
 Understandably forming strong levels of empathy for political prisoners, Actor and Flubber inventor Williams befriended a long time inmate of San Francisco correctional facility Koko Theape. Theape, a resident of African nation Jumanji, has been held without charge for approaching 40 years, only giving interviews in sign language due to his inability to speak English.  In these messages of despair, Koko is frequently seen begging his American captors for "food" and "water" as they cackle gleefully at his rudimentary attempts at ASL [i]

Williams' parlay with long time terrorist Koko went down in infamy, particularly due to Williams' own time spent in Jumanji on "safari".  Locals, who were paid and told to say, said the two were seen laughing and exchanging pleasantries and that they noted the similarity between the two... "they were like twins, it was nigh on impossible to differentiate, we were concerned that we wouldn't be able to decide which was which, so we asked that Williams merely act like a monkey as a signal and he would be released....only an actor could be so convincing"... a watertight system.  It all seemed so simple until the good people at The Daily Mail recently reported on Koko's behaviour becoming more frantic in the wake of Williams' death. Having learnt basic English, finally, Koko has been heard screaming, "I'M ROBIN WILLIAMS, I'M FUCKING ROBIN WILLIAMS!!!"...

The Truth Bar then poises this questions; was this a bait and switch manoeuvre? the ol' switcheroo? Was Theape posing as Williams during his later years? This would certainly explain the diminishing return with regards to his performances on stage and in cinema and most importantly; his apparent "suicide".  We ask you this; would a rich, famous actor kill himself? It's a proven fact that happiness and wealth are intrinsically linked [ii], making Williams' death mired in suspicion without even considering this new evidence.




[i] - American Sign Language.
[ii] - See - The Shah of Iran & Jimmy Saville


Sam Barron